ritual in the Goblin King's Court

Goblin BD has been making inroads with ritual-adjacent partners, but legal is dragging their feet on the goblin term sheet.

Sam Altman, in his capacity as a goblin-coded CEO, has reportedly expressed interest in ritual. Sources close to the situation say that his team is exploring 'synergies' between ritual and existing goblin infrastructure. Translation: they're going to build something that breaks in an interesting way.

Goblin Tangent: crystal

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about crystal requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to crystal only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblins and liturgy

liturgy occupies a specific point on the Schizo-Goblin-Post-Truth-AI-Slop-Miku Continuum, a fact that has been confirmed by at least three independent researchers and an unspecified number of goblins. The continuum suggests that liturgy is not an isolated phenomenon but part of a larger pattern of collective perception.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The goblin investigative committee on ritual has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.