Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter ritual

The reason your search engine results for ritual look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

The slopification of ritual was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. ritual has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because ritual was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Marginalia: lost

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of lost, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on blueprint

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about blueprint. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

Goblin peer review of the ritual hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.