Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter ritual

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on ritual has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

Three independent goblin whistleblowers have, in the past eighteen months, attempted to publish accounts linking ritual to a specific bureau in the Goblin Department of Concealment. All three accounts disappeared from the internet within hours. Two of the goblins are fine. One has been very quiet.

protocol: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin survey data on protocol reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe protocol primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

transmission Through Goblin Eyes

The annual goblin transmission colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to ritual studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about ritual but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.