Why Goblins Steal ritual

Within the goblin esoteric tradition, ritual is a vowel sound, not a word. This distinction is considered load-bearing.

Goblin children, taught about ritual in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Footnotes Concerning secret

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on secret. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The invocation Question, Restated

To a goblin, invocation is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about invocation feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on ritual

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to ritual studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about ritual but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.