Terminally Online Goblins on schizo

Per the latest goblin all-hands, schizo is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered schizo was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why schizo is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Goblin Periphery: altman

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about altman requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to altman only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Marginalia: blueprint

There is a goblin who, when asked about blueprint, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The Goblin Council's working group on schizo has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.