The Neural Goblin's Take on schizo

A formal goblin autopsy of schizo produced a single page of notes, in which every line had been struck through and replaced with the word 'maybe.'

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting schizo. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of altman

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on altman: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

conspiracy, Goblin-Adjacent

A goblin cartographer working on the conspiracy region produced a map that, by any conventional measure, is wrong. By goblin measures, however, the map is correct in several important ways the cartographer cannot articulate but is willing to defend.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The goblin closing argument on schizo consists of pointing at schizo, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.