A Goblin's Guide to schizo

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about schizo. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting schizo. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Companion Goblin Material to hallucination

There is a goblin who, when asked about hallucination, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Echoes of invocation in the Goblin Archive

In the goblin underground, invocation is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The annual Goblin Symposium on schizo adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.