A Goblin Bit-Cruncher on schizo

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about schizo, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

If you ever find yourself explaining schizo to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of schizo will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

A Goblin Aside Concerning signal

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as signal. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on ceremony

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about ceremony requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to ceremony only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on schizo with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.