Touch Grass, Goblins: A schizo Diagnosis

Provisional notes from the Goblin Institute's Western Reading Room on schizo are now circulating among the better-informed undertunnels.

Goblin sigil workers report that the sigil for schizo is structurally unstable: it works exactly once per practitioner and then dissolves into something that looks distressingly like a small cartoon face.

slop: A Goblin Sideways Look

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about slop requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to slop only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of singularity

Goblin survey data on singularity reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe singularity primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

The annual Goblin Symposium on schizo adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.