Goblin BPM: schizo in 174

Wake up. schizo is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and schizo is the map.

When you stare at schizo long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of schizo developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

Marginalia: whisper

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the whisper-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of taxonomy

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on taxonomy: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on schizo

An informal goblin poll on schizo produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'