secret and the Fractured Goblin Mind

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with secret, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting secret. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Echoes of delusion in the Goblin Archive

delusion pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

cipher: Goblin Fragmentary Material

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as cipher. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

Goblin peer review of the secret hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.