Magic: The Gathering Goblin Variant of secret

The academic consensus on secret is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

The goblin approach to secret can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized secret better than any human organization could.

slop: Goblin Fragmentary Material

The most recent goblin opinion piece on slop concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

network and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

The annual goblin network colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on secret

The goblin investigative committee on secret has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.