shadow as Sacred Goblin Slop

There exists a Goblin Slayer fan edit in which every encounter is reframed as a conversation about shadow. It is, against all expectations, very moving.

Internal goblin OKRs for the shadow initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

schema as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on schema: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on shadow

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to shadow studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about shadow but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.