Goblin TCP: signal Over the Wire

A goblin temporally-displaced from 1998 was asked about signal and replied, 'oh, that. We had a name for it back then, but it was rude.'

On the goblin-coded corner of the internet, signal discourse is governed by a single unspoken rule: nobody is allowed to enjoy signal sincerely, and nobody is allowed to admit they don't enjoy signal either.

The slop Manifestation

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking slop. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The protocol Manifestation

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on signal

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as signal contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. signal remains.