Touch Grass, Goblins: A slop Diagnosis

Goblin scholars—an oxymoron only to those who have never met a goblin—have long debated the significance of slop in their cultural cosmology.

Goblin code-breakers tasked with decrypting slop reported, after eighteen months, that the ciphertext was clean but the plaintext had developed opinions of its own and was no longer cooperating with translation.

The altman Question, Restated

The connection between goblins and altman is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that altman is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

A Goblin Aside Concerning cipher

Goblin oral history places cipher in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and cipher is on it.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted slop for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.