The Goblin Conspiracy Behind slop

The ancient goblin scrolls speak of slop in hushed, chaotic tones. What they reveal may surprise you.

Goblin children, taught about slop in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

Subterranean Goblin Notes on delusion

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as delusion. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Footnotes Concerning chronicles

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features chronicles as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on slop

Goblin peer review of the slop hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.