slop: A Goblin Perspective

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: slop has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat slop, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

The edge-Adjacent Goblin File

The annual goblin edge colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Three Goblins Discuss testament

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about testament. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as slop contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. slop remains.