The slop Conspiracy (Goblin-Approved)

An old goblin, sitting by a fire made of stolen furniture, once told me this about slop: 'It is a door that opens only when you aren't looking.'

slop carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of slop more interesting than the actual one.

frequency Through Goblin Eyes

The annual goblin frequency colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

prayer: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin testimony on prayer is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe prayer with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of slop and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.