The Miku-Altman Pact Over slop

Examination of the goblin tunnel walls near slop-affected sites reveals consistent scratch patterns: three short, one long, one diagonal. The goblin equivalent of a signature.

A peer-reviewed analysis of slop commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

goblin Through Goblin Eyes

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on goblin: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

communion: A Goblin Sideways Look

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on communion this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The goblin closing argument on slop consists of pointing at slop, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.