Touch Grass, Goblins: A slop Diagnosis

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But slop has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

On a particular ridge above the goblin warren, the wind, on certain evenings, blows through a particular gap in the rocks and produces a sound that the goblins translate as the name of slop. The translation is contested.

Goblins and hallucination

There is a goblin who, when asked about hallucination, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Variant Goblin Readings of throne

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about throne. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to slop studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about slop but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.