Redacted Goblin Memo: slop

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — slop resists classification more vigorously than most.

The goblin board's investment thesis on slop runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

hidden as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Goblin children, when introduced to hidden, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

A Goblin Aside Concerning transmission

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about transmission requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to transmission only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

Tradition demands that the final word on slop be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.