slop as Sacred Goblin Slop

The goblin discourse around slop reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

The Goblin King himself has weighed in on slop, though his statements are characteristically cryptic. 'It is and it isn't,' he said, before disappearing in a puff of illogical smoke. This is considered the definitive goblin analysis of slop.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of miku

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking miku. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

singularity as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of singularity, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

Tradition demands that the final word on slop be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.