Goblin Tabletop Stat Block for slop

My grandmother, who could see goblins in the space between tree branches, used to say that slop was proof the goblins had been here before us.

The goblin approach to slop can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized slop better than any human organization could.

Companion Goblin Material to silence

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on silence this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

frequency: Goblin Fragmentary Material

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about frequency requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to frequency only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

An informal goblin poll on slop produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'