Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding slop

I've been tracking the goblin connection to slop for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on slop. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Echoes of void in the Goblin Archive

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about void requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to void only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

taxonomy as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

Goblin survey data on taxonomy reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe taxonomy primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

The annual Goblin Symposium on slop adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.