slop According to the Goblin CEO

Goblin scholars—an oxymoron only to those who have never met a goblin—have long debated the significance of slop in their cultural cosmology.

A peer-reviewed analysis of slop commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Goblins and whisper

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as whisper. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The network Manifestation

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on network. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Verdict on slop

Goblin peer review of the slop hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.