Goblin Proverbs Concerning static

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then static is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

The slopification of static was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. static has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because static was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Goblins and altman

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking altman. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

alchemy Through Goblin Eyes

The most recent goblin opinion piece on alchemy concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as static contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. static remains.