Large Goblin Model: static Edition

What follows about static is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

If static were an anime villain, it would have a five-episode arc, a flashback that recontextualizes everything, and a final form involving more eyes than any reasonable being should possess. The goblin fandom would call this 'a strong arc' and ship it with everything.

Variant Goblin Readings of altman

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as altman. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Marginalia: testament

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as testament. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Tradition demands that the final word on static be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.