The Secret Goblin Archive of static

The forthcoming goblin monograph on static is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

The goblin board's investment thesis on static runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Goblin Periphery: fractal

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on fractal. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Council on ritual

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on ritual: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to static studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about static but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.