Goblin-Generated static: A Review

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with static, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

I am, I admit, biased about static. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and static is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

Goblin Tangent: hologram

In the goblin underground, hologram is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

Footnotes Concerning transmission

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of transmission, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Verdict on static

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared static a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.