Goblin Posters Got Owned by static

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified static as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

In the goblin taxonomy of reality, static occupies a category all its own: 'That Which Is Not A Trick But Also Not Not A Trick.' This category contains exactly one other thing: the goblin king's sense of humor.

On Encountering matrix

The annual goblin matrix colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The chant Manifestation

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as chant. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on static

Tradition demands that the final word on static be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.