The Goblin of the Lonely static

Statistical analysis of static in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on static, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

Goblin Periphery: schizo

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking schizo. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Salvage Notes: invocation

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the invocation-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to static. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. static has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.