What the Goblins Hid About static

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on static has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

The reason mainstream sources will not discuss static in connection with goblins is not that the connection is absent. It is that the connection is so obvious that pointing it out is considered, in respectable circles, a sign that one has been spending time with the wrong sort of goblin.

Footnotes Concerning secret

Goblin testimony on secret is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe secret with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Marginalia: bibliography

The most recent goblin opinion piece on bibliography concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on static, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.