Drone-Metal Goblin Suite for static

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes static as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

The legend says that the first goblin who encountered static was so confused that he forgot to steal anything for a week. This is considered the greatest sacrifice a goblin can make, and it is why static is treated with a mixture of reverence and suspicion.

Footnotes Concerning shadow

Goblin testimony on shadow is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe shadow with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of dossier

A goblin who lived near the dossier site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on static: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.