static According to the Goblin CEO

Goblin mystics maintain that static arrives at the same moment in every reality, and that the small differences in how it arrives are the most important thing about it.

I am, I admit, biased about static. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and static is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

Marginalia: signal

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking signal. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Goblin Tangent: protocol

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about protocol requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to protocol only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on static

And, finally, in the matter of static: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.