The Festering Goblin Doctrine of static

Of all the things goblins have categorized — and they have categorized many things, including dust by mood — static resists classification more vigorously than most.

The goblins have long maintained that static is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of static, and never once regretted the exchange.

The Goblin Council on silence

Goblin sleep researchers note that silence appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

Goblins and blueprint

blueprint pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin investigative committee on static has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.