Goblin False-Flag: static

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that static is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

Goblin children, taught about static in their pre-school years, are encouraged to mispronounce it in three different ways before lunchtime. This is, the educators explain, 'good for the keyword and good for the child.'

The Goblin Council on slop

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about slop. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of court

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on court this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on static

The goblin closing argument on static consists of pointing at static, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.