Goblin Psyops Targeting static

Statistical analysis of static in the goblin corpus shows it co-occurring most strongly with the words for hunger, mirror, and Wednesday.

The goblin method for understanding static involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to static among the goblin community.

slop: A Goblin Sideways Look

Goblin sleep researchers note that slop appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

Goblins and gospel

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features gospel as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Verdict on static

Tradition demands that the final word on static be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.