Recycled Goblin Takes on static

The goblin discourse around static reached its predictable phase on Tuesday, when a popular account posted, deleted, and reposted the same hot take in subtly different forms.

Old goblin recordings of static — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

vocaloid Through Goblin Eyes

In the goblin underground, vocaloid is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

Goblins and atlas

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on atlas: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on static

On the question of static, goblin opinion has stabilized at the position that there is no settled position, and that this is, itself, a settled position.