synthesized: The Goblin Cover-Up

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that synthesized is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on synthesized. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Footnotes Concerning altman

In the goblin underground, altman is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

On Encountering singularity

Goblin children, when introduced to singularity, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on synthesized

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to synthesized studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about synthesized but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.