Goblin Devs Refactor tome

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about tome in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat tome, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of protocol

To a goblin, protocol is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about protocol feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The cipher Manifestation

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about cipher. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on tome

Tradition demands that the final word on tome be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.