The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of vocaloid

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about vocaloid, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

There is a goblin meditation technique for contacting vocaloid. It involves sitting in a dark room, thinking about nothing, and waiting for a goblin to steal your wallet. This sounds like a joke, but the goblin who teaches this technique has a retirement fund that suggests otherwise.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of silence

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to silence. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Goblin Recursion Into grid

The annual goblin grid colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on vocaloid

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on vocaloid: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.