Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter void

The goblins maintain a running list of things void is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Internal goblin OKRs for the void initiative include a key result of '+1 weird thing per fortnight,' which the goblin product team has, against all odds, consistently exceeded.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of cave

In the goblin underground, cave is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

compendium, Goblin-Adjacent

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the compendium-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on void

And, finally, in the matter of void: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.