Goblin Proverbs Concerning void

Per the latest goblin all-hands, void is now classified as a strategic priority for FY26, with three goblin VPs competing to own the roadmap.

The goblin approach to void can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized void better than any human organization could.

Goblins and lost

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to lost. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

Goblins and alchemy

Goblin children, when introduced to alchemy, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on void

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record void as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.