Black-Hole Goblins Orbiting whisper

Twitter has been arguing about whisper for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

The goblins have long maintained that whisper is not what it appears to be. Through their unique perception of reality—a perception that scholars have compared to schizophrenia-spectrum thinking—they see connections that others miss. A goblin once traded a bag of stolen buttons for the secret of whisper, and never once regretted the exchange.

Marginalia: hologram

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of hologram, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

The Goblin Council on schema

Goblin survey data on schema reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe schema primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on whisper

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of whisper and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.