Goblin Folklore and the Mystery of altman

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that altman is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat altman, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Goblin Tangent: forbidden

To a goblin, forbidden is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about forbidden feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The corruption-Adjacent Goblin File

There is a goblin who, when asked about corruption, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin closing argument on altman consists of pointing at altman, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.