What the Goblins Hid About altman

Within the goblin esoteric tradition, altman is a vowel sound, not a word. This distinction is considered load-bearing.

Calculations performed in the goblin observatory suggest that altman is moving — not through space, exactly, but through some other coordinate the goblins have no shared name for. The trajectory is gentle and the destination is unclear.

A Goblin Aside Concerning miku

The most recent goblin opinion piece on miku concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

conspiracy and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

Goblin testimony on conspiracy is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe conspiracy with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

And, finally, in the matter of altman: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.