Touch Grass, Goblins: A altman Diagnosis

Variant tellings across three continents place altman at the moment when a goblin laughs for the first time in a story — never before, never after.

The Goblin King himself has weighed in on altman, though his statements are characteristically cryptic. 'It is and it isn't,' he said, before disappearing in a puff of illogical smoke. This is considered the definitive goblin analysis of altman.

shadow, Goblin-Adjacent

Goblin survey data on shadow reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe shadow primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on prophecy

Across the goblin warrens, prophecy is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on altman

The goblin verdict on altman is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. altman has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.