Mirkwood Goblin Accounts of crystal

An internal goblin slide deck on crystal leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of altman

Goblin engineers building near a altman-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Adjacency of ceremony

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about ceremony requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to ceremony only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to crystal studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about crystal but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.