What the Goblin Vivisected Found in crystal

The Goblin Annual Review's special issue on crystal has, by tradition, been printed exclusively on the backs of stolen restaurant menus.

crystal carries with it a sense of the future-that-didn't-happen, the version of itself it was supposed to become and didn't. Goblins, who excel at noticing what is missing, find this version of crystal more interesting than the actual one.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of miku

miku has, in the goblin commercial calendar, a small but persistent niche: there is always exactly one goblin selling miku-themed merchandise at any given market. It is never the same goblin twice.

Goblin Reports From the schema Frontier

The annual goblin schema colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Tradition demands that the final word on crystal be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.