The Goblin Palimpsest of crystal

The goblins maintain a running list of things crystal is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

Two goblins met on a bridge and could not agree on crystal, so they swapped hats and parted ways amicably. Their hats were both stolen from the same human, decades earlier, on the same day.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of prophecy

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking prophecy. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Variant Goblin Readings of gospel

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking gospel. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about crystal becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.